Preventing Suicide

Losing someone to Suicide

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If you or someone you know is in imminent danger of suicide take them to a hospital or call emergency services on 119.  If you or someone you know is having a mental health crisis, contact the following list of mental health hospitals which are available to provide crisis support.

  1. RSJ Amino Gondohutomo Semarang: (024) 6722565
  2. RSJ Marzoeki Mahdi Bogor: (0251) 8324024, 8324025, 8320467
  3. RSJ Soeharto Heerdjan Jakarta: (021) 5682841
  4. RSJ Prof Dr Soerojo Magelang: (0293) 363601
  5. RSJ Radjiman Wediodiningrat Malang: (0341) 423444

Confronting loss

At some point in our lives, we will experience the pain of losing a loved one. We each go through a unique grieving process, experiencing a range of different emotions. We also have our own styles of coping.

Some common feelings we may experience are:

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Depression
  • Acceptance

If someone you know has committed suicide, it is important to know that you are not alone. There are many who understand your pain and share your loss.

Losing someone to suicide

Losing someone to suicide is tough. People bereaved by suicide often: 

  • Feel as though there was something they could have done to prevent the loss of their loved one
  • Feel guilty or responsible for the death
  • Feel confused and have many unanswered questions 

Most people also experience intense feelings about the circumstances of a loved one’s death. This can be due to the stigma around mental health and suicide; some view it as a sin or unforgivable action. You may feel angry, confused or lonely.

It is important to remember that a suicide is beyond the control of yourself or others. It is also important to recognise and accept that amidst all the confusion, you may never know the answers to your questions.

Coping mechanisms

During this time, it is important to focus on your own mental well-being. Finding healthy ways of coping with your loss is essential and can make a big difference. Although you may feel as though you will never get over your loss, it is important to know you can get through it, and perhaps even grow from it.

Some things that you can do to make this difficult time more manageable:

  • Seek and Accept help: having an open and compassionate support group, or seeking professional help, is strongly recommended during this difficult time
  • Talk: strong feelings will naturally arise, and voicing these can help both yourself and others come to terms with emotions, questions and feelings of loss
  • Self-care: ensure that you are still sleeping, eating well and exercising, which will help improve mood and general well-being
  • Time: give yourself time to grieve, heal and process what you have experienced.

Know when to seek professional help

Helping Yourself 

If you have lost someone to suicide, knowing if and when you need to seek professional help is incredibly important. After such an event, you may be at increased risk of developing depression and anxiety. Your own risk of suicide also increases. As such, looking out for yourself and recognising when you are overwhelmed is essential in effectively coping. This may mean seeing a professional or attend a suicide bereavement support group.

Helping Others

Sometimes the best thing you can do to help someone else going through this kind of pain is to recognise when it gets too much for them to handle. Assisting someone else to seek professional help can be the most important thing you do for a loved one.

Beyond Blue. Suicide and grief. Accessed 22/9/2019. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/understanding-suicide-and-grief/after-you-lose-someone-to-suicide

Beyond Blue. Supporting a loved one after they have lost someone to suicide. Accessed 22/9/2019. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/understanding-suicide-and-grief/supporting-a-loved-one-after-they-have-lost-someone-to-suicide

Lifeline. Suicide Bereavement. Accessed 22/9/2019. https://www.lifeline.org.au/get-help/topics/suicide-bereavement

Rakmat, M Z. & Tarahita, D. (2018). Some facts about suicide in Indonesia. International Policy Digest. Retrieved from https://intpolicydigest.org/2018/10/01/some-facts-about-suicide-in-indonesia/

Rethink Mental Illness. Suicide- Coping with loss. Accessed 22/9/2019. https://www.rethink.org/advice-information/carers-information-hub/coping-with-loss/

Sane. Is someone close to you bereaved by suicide? Accessed 22/9/2019. https://www.sane.org/information-stories/facts-and-guides/is-someone-close-to-you-bereaved-by-suicide

The University of Texas. Helping a Student Who Has Lost a Friend or Family Member to Suicide. Accessed 22/9/2019. https://cmhc.utexas.edu/bethatone/studentscopingsuicide.html

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