Defining perfectionism
Perfectionism refers to a personality trait where individuals place immense pressure on themselves to meet excessively high, self-imposed standards. People with perfectionistic tendencies frequently fear failure or making mistakes, and they may interpret even minor errors as personal flaws or proof of inadequacy.
Perfectionists often link their self-worth directly to their ability to achieve these unrealistic expectations. Their value, in their own eyes, becomes tied to how well they perform or how flawlessly they achieve their goals.
While perfectionism might sometimes appear to be a strength, such as being detail-oriented or highly motivated, it can become harmful when it starts to interfere with mental wellbeing, relationships, or professional life. Many perfectionists are unaware of how maladaptive their behaviours have become until they experience significant distress, burnout, or conflict in important areas of their lives.
Adaptive vs. Maladaptive Perfectionism
There are two main types of perfectionism: Adaptive and Maladaptive.
Adaptive perfectionism
Adaptive perfectionists set high yet achievable goals for themselves. They are motivated, diligent, and strive for excellence without tying their self-worth to the outcome. When faced with setbacks or unmet goals, they are generally able to respond with self-compassion and resilience, rather than harsh self-criticism.
Maladaptive perfectionism
In contrast, maladaptive perfectionists set unreasonably high and often unrealistic standards. They tend to be overly preoccupied with control, order, and avoiding mistakes. When they fall short of their expectations, they respond with intense self-criticism, guilt, or feelings of worthlessness.
Unaddressed maladaptive perfectionism is strongly correlated to the development of:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Burnout
- Obsessive-compulsive tendencies
- Chronic stress
- Suicidality
- Eating disorders
How is perfectionism maintained?
Perfectionism is maintained through the persistence of underlying rules and assumptions, unrelenting standards, perfectionism behaviours, and perfectionistic thinking patterns.
Underlying Rules and Assumptions
These are rigid and unreasonable rules and guides an individual feels they must behave. While these rules are meant to prevent failure or judgement, they are usually impossible to maintain, causing ongoing stress and self-criticism.
Examples:
- “I must make sure I stop eating before 8 pm otherwise people will think I have no willpower”
- “I must finish my weekly workload by this afternoon or my supervisor will think I am incompetent”
- “I must be the first one to arrive to my lecture or my lecturer will think I am lazy”
Unrelenting standards
These are excessively high standards that come at a significant personal cost to meet them, such as sacrificing sleep, social time, or health.
If individuals fails to meet these standards:
- They interpret it as a personal failure or laziness, rather than questioning the standard itself.
- They may avoid future tasks altogether for fear of failing again.
If the standard is met:
- They attribute success to luck, not ability.
- They raise the bar even higher next time, continuing the cycle of stress and self-doubt.
Perfectionist Behaviours
Below are some typical behaviours exhibited by Maladaptive Perfectionists:
Perfectionistic Thinking
Perfectionists often hold cognitive biases that make them overly focused on their flaws while overlooking their strengths and achievements. This unbalanced perspective can reinforce negative self-beliefs and maintain the cycle of perfectionism. Some common unhelpful thinking styles seen in perfectionists include:
Black and white thinking
Viewing oneself or a situation in extremes, either as a complete success or a total failure with no room for middle ground or nuance.
“Shoulding” and “Musting”
Placing rigid and unrealistic expectations on oneself or others, using statements like “I must always get it right” or “I should never make mistakes”
Catastrophizing
Blowing things out of proportion or imagining the worst-case scenario, even when the situation is minor or manageable.
Jumping to conclusions
Assuming you know what others are thinking (e.g., “They must think I’m incompetent”) or predicting a negative outcome without concrete evidence.
