If you have kept a long streak of no self-harming, thought you’re “over it” and “everything is in control”, but it happened again - you are not alone. Relapsing is a common part of self-harm recovery and it happens to everyone. The steps below can help you cope with relapses.
Understand that your journey is NOT linear.
You may have broken a streak, which can feel like a setback. However, the journey to recovery isn’t a straight line; it’s full of ups and downs. Don’t fixate on a relapse and continue doing what you were doing for recovery. Acknowledge and accept that you relapsed, but remember that you’re not starting from scratch - continue everything you were doing for recovery.
Analyse your relapse.
It’s useful to think back on your relapse and ask yourself questions, as this is key to understanding how you can better help yourself next time you feel the urge to self-harm. Take notes on coping mechanisms that you did and didn’t use, who you talked to, what made you feel bad, etc. Here are a few questions to get yourself started:
- Had a big event happen to you recently, like breaking up with someone you loved?
- Have you lost someone special to you, or has a family member or friend been seriously ill?
- Have you been injured in an accident or fallen ill?
- Have you been dealing with a physical injury, ill health, or chronic health issues?
- Have you been bullied at college, uni, or by people at work?
- Felt stressed because of deadlines, too much work, or people asking a lot of you?
- Felt depressed?
- Drank a lot?
- Have you been struggling with memories of distressing or traumatic events?
- Have you experienced a major life transition, such as relocating, moving away from your support system, changing jobs, or graduating?
- Have you been feeling overwhelmed by financial stress and/or life responsibilities?
Update your safety plan.
What did you learn from analysing your relapse? Make a note of what you can do differently next time and add this to your safety plan. For example, you thought that scrolling through Instagram would help distract you from the urge to self-harm. However, you discover that there is a lot of content on Instagram that further triggers your self-harming urge. With this new discovery, it’s important to update your safety plan to remind you to avoid Instagram when feeling the urge to self-harm. In addition, it’s crucial that you keep your safety plan accessible, even if you think you’ve recovered.
Example:
Be kind to yourself.
This is arguably the most important on the list. Self-harm is a coping mechanism, meaning it helps to acknowledge that relapsing was a moment in which you were vulnerable and did what you knew to ease your distress. Recovery is all about finding better ways to cope, which is time-consuming and sometimes full of disappointments. It is essential that you accept relapses as a part of recovery and forgive yourself to achieve recovery. What matters the most is that you keep moving forward by learning from each relapse, and constantly reminding yourself that healing is a journey, not a destination.
