Reasons for self-harming differ for each individual. Common reports of why one self-harms include:
Relieving overwhelming feelings
Individuals often report that they feel calmer after self-harming. This is likely why self-harming is frequently done when in distress or when dealing with painful emotions.
Stopping dissociation and numbness
Dissociating is described as the feeling of being outside of your body, feeling as if the world is not real, and/or feeling numb. This often happens in reaction to emotional stress or a traumatic event. In addition, those with depression and other mental disorders may feel the absence of emotions, often described as feeling empty and numb. Self-harm is reported to help people “wake-up” from dissociation and “feel alive” when they feel numb.
Giving a sense of control
When faced with a situation that is out of one’s control, it may feel overwhelming and scary. Individuals have reported that self-harming helps them feel in control of their lives, because self-harming gives control over their physical selves.
A form of punishment.
Many struggle with overwhelming guilt after making a mistake and feel the need to punish themselves. Self-harming is often reported as a form of self-punishment.
A way of seeking help.
Seeking help, talking about your feelings and telling others about your struggles are difficult for many people. Evidence of self-harm (for example, scars from cutting) indicates struggle and eases the process of communicating for the self-harmer.
What Does Science Say?
There are several scientific explanations as to why people self-harm. Here are a few:
- Individuals who were abused and/or emotionally neglected as a child are more likely to develop self-harming behaviour. This implies that abuse and neglect cause the onset of self-harm behaviour.
- Pain offset relief: This is a phenomena observed in humans wherein humans experience euphoria after physical pain. A possible physiological explanation behind this phenomena is:
- The body releases endorphins (natural painkillers) when injured.
- Endorphins interact with the brain’s opiate receptors (receptors that diminish pain).
- Anything that activates the opiate receptors can lead us to wanting more; possibly causing addiction.
This hypothesis explains a few observations:
- This physiological phenomena explains why those who self-harm often report feeling better after self-harming. Hence, self-harming is often used as a coping mechanism because it produces psychological relief that is comparable to that felt when smoking, drinking alcohol, exercising, etc.
- This phenomena would also explain why many report that they struggle to stop self-harming. It is because self-harming is possibly addictive, just like smoking, gambling, drinking alcohol, exercising, etc.
Misconceptions and Stigma Around Self-Harming
It’s attention-seeking and manipulative.
Most people go to great lengths to hide marks of their self-harm injuries from others, like wearing long-sleeve shirts in hot weather.. This is because self-harm is personal for many, and even shameful. It is true that for some, self-harming is a way to prompt conversation about their struggles, but individuals are often unaware of how their self-harming behaviour can negatively impact those close to them.
It’s just a phase, they’ll stop.
For many, self-harming is a very difficult thing to quit and often goes on for a long time. Stopping self-harming requires more than just “trying harder”, as self-harming is a reaction to — rather than the cause of — distress. Therefore, to help someone quit self-harming, the cause of their distress must be addressed – often requiring therapy and/or medication. The journey of addressing one’s mental health struggles is very difficult to go through alone, which is why support is important.
Only certain people do it; it’s a subculture.
People often think that self-harming is part of the “emo”/”goth” culture, or something that only young girls do. While it may seem that self-harming is particularly prevalent in certain groups, self-harming affects all types of people regardless of age, ethnicity, gender and background. It is important that everyone understands that self-harming can be done by anyone, to prevent harmful stereotyping of certain groups.
Differentiating self-harm and suicidality.
Self-harm does not always reflect suicidality. In fact, the medical term for self-harm is “Non-suicidal self-injury” (NSSI). Most acts of self-harm are done without the intent to die; however, self-harm has been shown to predict future suicide attempts. Hence, it is important to address the issue that causes self-harming in the first place. Try to keep this in mind to help approach the issue calmly, as extreme reactions often discourage individuals who self-harm to share their struggles.
It’s important to understand that self-harm isn't just about seeking attention. While the scientific explanations provide insight into the physiological and psychological factors at play, self-harm is a complex and multifaceted behaviour with various reasons behind it, ranging from self-punishment to the need for control when experiencing emotional dysregulation. Those motivations can be deeply personal, and often arise in response to deeper emotional or psychological distress. Therefore, encouraging open and honest conversation to address underlying issues, and offering non-judgmental assistance can help those who struggle with self-harm to find healthier ways to cope and ultimately heal.
